I suck at focusing and finishing projects, procrastination is my downfall all the time. I started writing recently, mostly just notes on my ipod when I'm out and tiny bits of fiction on word documents that are mostly still unfinished. It's so easy for me to waste hours in front of the tv, or reading articles online or on tumblr or facebook instead of focusing my energies onto something more expressive. I'm not of the opinion that these things are entirely bad, but there's something more satisfying about creating something yourself. Exorcising your demons through creativity is much more healthy than suppressing them and succumbing to the tv/laptop.
I haven't written in my spare time for years, I always felt like there were a lot of things holding me back. I always blamed my lack of productivity on having work and school pressures ("I write all the time at school!!"/"I'm too tired"/"I'm bored"/"I'm re-watching Mad Men" etc.) and though some of these excuses are ok, I don't want to force myself to write when I don't like some strict parent, I guess I saw it too much like a chore, like I had to write to finish a project for school with a deadline and a wordcount of exactly 1000. It really isn't a chore if you write what you want, when you want. If anything, for me, it's become something of a stress-buster. Even if what you write at first doesn't get finished for months, or is so bad you wouldn't even show your cat for fear he would laugh, you did it bro, you put pen to paper, or keys into a word document, which sounds like more of an accomplishment than watching the entire series of Teen Mom 2 doesn't it? All it really takes is an attitude change.
I guess another thing that held me back from writing for so long was the idea that I was somehow unworthy of it, just because I wasn't writing masterpieces with intense emotional depth that it was pointless to even bother writing. Which seems silly if you think about it, I mean there are so many books which sold millions which don't fit that description at all (ahem ahem ahem) and yet people still love that shit. Just cause you're not shakespeare doesn't mean you're not entitled to make a stab at writing what you want. You can only really speak for yourself and from your own thoughts and experiences, the only one you should really be trying to write for is yoself qurl. And if you're so critical on literary standards you've probably got a good head to decide whether what you write is any good anyway.
Writing offers a good way to let out your emotions and feelings and all that messy shit (though its not the only way) it certainly helps me make sense of things if a piece of work was inspired by something I'm trying to comprehend myself (this doesn't have to be autobiographical, it can just be about ANGER if you're angry or w/e). Sometimes it can be painful reading really emotional work back (I'm bad at reading back my own work anyway, I cringe when reading back my essays in exams even if I've done well) but no one's saying you have to publish it, you can even delete it afterwards, but it can make your mind less foggy and focus your brain on something other than how crappy you feel.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that writing is something to be enjoyed and something I want to use this blog to chronicle and explore. I might have a few bambi moments but I guess this is me trying to find my writing feet. Plz don't judge.
[title and picture a reference to Daisy from spaced, master procrastinator]

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